What screams “I’m a narcissist”?
There is an ongoing cycle of abuse throughout the relationship.
- The entire foundation of the relationship is built on a lie.
- You are there to serve the narcissist. Only his/her needs matter.
- There is a total lack of empathy.
- The relationship is a roller coaster ride of pushing you away to pull you back.
- You are walking on eggshells.
- Dr.Jekyll/Mr. Hyde Personality.
- There are secrets and lies. And more than likely a double life going on.
- There is rage, abuse mentally, physically, and verbally.
- Narcissists are very easily slighted. You may not know what you said to offend them.
- They will project all of their wrong doing onto their partner. If they are lying they will accuse you of lying. If they are cheating they will accuse you of cheating.
- Everything you ever told them about yourself or in confidence will be used against you. There are no limits to how low they will go.
- You cannot tell them no. They do not accept no for an answer. If you tell them no they will work hard to wear you down, even threatening divorce. In fact divorce may be a constant threat in the marriage.
- His/Her way or the Highway.
- Narcissists tear their partners down with constant criticism and put downs. They systematically break the person they are in a relationship with. Once they break their partner they discard them. The person is discarded because they are too broken to supply the narcissist any longer. They are replaced.
- Objectification-treating people as objects.
- Narcissists are emotionally immature.
- They seek instant gratification. It could be in the form of material possessions such as a new boat or car. And also sexually for example sex with strangers.
- They start arguments that don’t make sense and you end up going around in circles. They don’t care about the truth, they only care about winning. They are very argumentative and contradictory.
- They are know it alls. They know more than any doctor or professional and love to impress people with their knowledge. However they may not be all that knowledgeable. They skim the surface when reading something just to have enough material to try to impress someone.
- They envy others having something they don’t have.
- Arrogance they live in glass houses and yet they throw stones.
- They are entitled to everything. What’s theirs is theirs and what’s yours is theirs.
- It’s never their fault. It’s your fault and you deserve what they did to you.
- They are always the victim in any situation or disagreement.
- They are either smearing you behind your back or triangulating you with someone.
Look at their partner or spouse at the end of the relationship as the narcissist walks away unscathed. The narcissist is usually in another relationship rather quickly, while their partner or spouse remains single and struggles to make sense of the relationship, seeking answers and closure. Some even suffer from CPTSD due to the trauma in the relationship.