If a Narcissist has Disappeared is this Ghosting or a Final Discard? He does respond to text, and he will initiate, but only every few days. Answered by Debra Sutton on Quora


If a narcissist has disappeared, is this ghosting or a final discard? He does respond if I text, and he will initiate, but only every few days. What is going on?

Ghosting is when they disappear and don’t speak to you at all, they leave you hanging with no closure. There is much more that goes on in a relationship with a narcissist. The narcissistic relationship is one of abuse gaslighting, projecting, twisting the facts, blaming you for all that is wrong in the relationship, pushing you away then pulling you back, they have a Dr.Jekell/Mr.Hyde Personality. They punish you and test you, then throw you crumbs to keep you there. They engage in silent treatment and also absent silent treatment. If he has left and is still texting you periodically chances are he is engaged with a new supply source, but is not sure of how she will work out yet, so he is throwing you crumbs by occasionally texting you just to check and make sure you are still available. He may be back to try to triangulate you and his new supply source, or he could just come back like nothing happened and you will never know what he was up to when he was away.

Many people do not have the courage to properly end a relationship. This alone would not make them a narcissist. A true narcissist has no empathy for others, the relationship is all about them and their needs. It is a very toxic one sided relationship. When the end of the formal relationship comes with a narcissist you will have no doubts. You will never have seen anyone colder or uncaring as a narcissist engaged in the final discard and I hesitate to call it final, but it is a change in the relationship status. You will have never seen such hate and vulgarity coming from a person who you spent years with. You will not be treated as a human being, everything and I mean everything will be stripped from you. Who you are as a person is gone, you won’t know who you are anymore. Then your money, your home, the clothes on your back all gone. You will leave a broken person and have to climb out of a dark pit to rebuild yourself and your life. And then once you have put yourself together and are doing well they may try to come back if you allow it. I have known narcissists who have gone back to someone from their past from 30 years back.

The best way to free yourself from the entanglement is to go no contact. Stop playing the narcissist game. Remember they need a dance partner. Don’t Dance!

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