Flying Monkeys Oh My by Debra Sutton


What is your theory about the support of your narcissist partner’s flying monkeys? Do you think they actually believed his/her lies about you? How would you characterize the pathology, failures and motivations of flying monkeys?

The term flying monkeys comes from the movie the wizard of oz. In the movie the flying monkeys and the witches guards were followers of the witch and did whatever the witch said, however the flying monkeys were slaves of the golden cup, whoever held the cup would be granted wishes. When the witch was killed the guards weren’t upset they broke out in song “ding dong the wicked witch is dead” as the monkeys spell was broken and they fly away free. The witch held the object the monkeys were slaves to so they had to grant her wishes, but they were not actually minions. The guards served out of fear of the witch, and they were relieved when she died. “Hail to Dorothy” they exclaimed, as the witches death brought freedom to all.

There are some who like the flying monkeys are slaves to their ideas that family loyalty is of the upmost importance. Even if the family member is wrong they are conditioned not to go against family. And will defend them at all cost. They may realize the narcissist is a liar and abuser, but they make excuses for him or her. It is possible for these people to wake up and free themselves from their own faulty thinking.

Then there are those like the guards who fear if they don’t follow along they will become the next target for abuse. They too are capable of lashing out at a target just to keep the abuser off of them. These people can wake up, usually when they become tired of being a target themselves. Time and time again they have been targets of abuse from the narcissist for not following along. Fear and low self esteem is their weakness. They may not admire the narcissist and know he’s a liar and abuser. These people are codependents with poor personal boundaries. They suffer from cognitive dissonance and will make excuses for the narcissist. Freedom for these people can come once they remove themselves from the narcissist.

Then you have those who are co-narcissist completely given over to the mindset of the narcissist. Dependent on the narcissist for their own sense of self worth. They lack awareness. They are minions and will do whatever they have to do to keep the narcissist happy. If it takes bullying others to prove their loyalty they are more than happy to oblige. These people are narcissist themselves and will never wake up.

Some do believe the lies and others know the truth, but make excuses for the narcissist. Some will defend the narcissist not because he/she is right, but out of a sense of friendship or family loyalty. Some will defend the narcissist because there is a heavy price to pay if they don’t. And some of these defenders are narcissist themselves. Some are conditioned at an early age to defend the narcissist agenda. And some go along out of fear. And many would be hailing as the guardsmen “Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead” “The Wicked Witch Is Dead!” When freedom comes at last.

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