I have made a list of controlling abusive narcissistic behaviors. This is a cluster of behaviors.
If your partner exhibits many of these behaviors from my own personal experience he will not change. Staying in an abusive relationship can cause health problems, depression, and complex PTSD.
1. Physical Abuse
2. Verbal Abuse
3. Verbal Threats
4. Physical Threats
5. Hot/Cold, Push/Pull, Nice/Mean
7. Circular Arguments/Word Salad
9. Lashing Out
10. Silent Treatments including Absent Silent Treatments
13. Emotional Outburst
17. Ad Hominem Abuse
18. Illogical attacks and arguments
23. Puts His needs first, while your needs are ignored.
26. Thinks he is always right
27. Rarely apologizes-they can fake an apology if they think you are going to leave the relationship.
30. Lack of empathy
31. Grandiosity May or May not be present. Most Somatic Narcissists are grandiose. Covert narcissists do not display grandiosity. It’s still there at the core though. I heard Richard Gannon Spartan Life Coach say it like this with the “Somatic Narcissist tells the world they are great and the world agrees with them, the Covert Narcissist tells the world they are great, but the world does not agree.” In fact coverts suffer from low self esteem. They are much harder to spot.
34. His way or the Highway
35. Emotional Abuse
36. Financial Abuse
37. Smearing you behind your back.
41. Disappearing this includes not coming home for work without a phone call letting you know.
42. No respect for boundaries
44. Legal Abuse
45. Reaction Seeking Behavior
46. Emotional Blackmail
50. Smearing your name behind your back.
The only choice you have is to free yourself from the cycle of abuse.
Signs and Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder from the Mayo Clinic
Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and the severity of symptoms vary. People with the disorder can:
• Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
• Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration
• Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
• Exaggerate achievements and talents
• Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
• Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people
• Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior
• Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
• Take advantage of others to get what they want
• Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
• Be envious of others and believe others envy them
• Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious
• Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office
At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:
• Become impatient or angry when they don’t receive special treatment
• Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted
• React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior
• Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior
• Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change
• Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection
• Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation
There is no cure for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.