50 Signs of Narcissistic Abuse by Debra Sutton

I have made a list of controlling abusive narcissistic behaviors. This is a cluster of behaviors.

If your partner exhibits many of these behaviors from my own personal experience he will not change. Staying in an abusive relationship can cause health problems, depression, and complex PTSD.

1. Physical Abuse

2. Verbal Abuse

3. Verbal Threats

4. Physical Threats

5. Hot/Cold, Push/Pull, Nice/Mean

6. Dr.Jekyll/Mr.Hyde

7. Circular Arguments/Word Salad

8. Projection

9. Lashing Out

10. Silent Treatments including Absent Silent Treatments

11. Blaming

12. Jealousy

13. Emotional Outburst

14. Rage

15. Argumentative

16. Aggression

17. Ad Hominem Abuse

18. Illogical attacks and arguments

19. Shaming

20. Lying

21. Gas-Lighting

22. Cheating

23. Puts His needs first, while your needs are ignored.

24. Manipulation

25. Rejection

26. Thinks he is always right

27. Rarely apologizes-they can fake an apology if they think you are going to leave the relationship.

28. Destructive

29. Chaotic

30. Lack of empathy

31. Grandiosity May or May not be present. Most Somatic Narcissists are grandiose. Covert narcissists do not display grandiosity. It’s still there at the core though. I heard Richard Gannon Spartan Life Coach say it like this with the “Somatic Narcissist tells the world they are great and the world agrees with them, the Covert Narcissist tells the world they are great, but the world does not agree.” In fact coverts suffer from low self esteem. They are much harder to spot.

32. Controlling

33. Isolating

34. His way or the Highway

35. Emotional Abuse

36. Financial Abuse

37. Smearing you behind your back.

38. Triangulation

39. Intimidation

40. Accusing

41. Disappearing this includes not coming home for work without a phone call letting you know.

42. No respect for boundaries

43. Bullying

44. Legal Abuse

45. Reaction Seeking Behavior

46. Emotional Blackmail

47. Minimizing

48. Demeaning

49. Stonewalling

50. Smearing your name behind your back.

The only choice you have is to free yourself from the cycle of abuse.


Signs and Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder from the Mayo Clinic



Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and the severity of symptoms vary. People with the disorder can:

• Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance

• Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration

• Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it

• Exaggerate achievements and talents

• Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate

• Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people

• Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior

• Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations

• Take advantage of others to get what they want

• Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others

• Be envious of others and believe others envy them

• Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious

• Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:

• Become impatient or angry when they don’t receive special treatment

• Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted

• React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior

• Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior

• Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change

• Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection

• Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation

There is no cure for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

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