Shhhh…Don’t Say That! Part 2 | Straight Spouse Network


5 thoughts on “Shhhh…Don’t Say That! Part 2 | Straight Spouse Network

  1. what bothers me about the Shhh Part 2 ( I think that one), is that no one is defining the spouse as abusive to begin with. I believe my ex, if he were in an open homosexual relationship, would still be abusive. I think the abuse in our marriage had the second layer because he had to hide his homosexuality, and I believed he blamed me because I wasn’t woman enough to make him heterosexual. I spent 3 years on a forum regarding personality disorders, but there was something missing. I finally had to acknowledge the part and accept he is homosexual, and in part, I believe he was additionally abusive to me because he was homosexual. I think his overall personality is abusive, regardless of his orientation. In my healing I have to deal with the 2 parts, but the worst one to me was the abuse, not the orientation. My therapist told me that regardless if he was gay or bisexual, he was very abusive.

    And now, because we are divorced, it still makes him abusive because he can’t use me for appearance sake. He dates women all the time and posts pictures on social media. For appearance sake, he will always be with a woman in the public eye.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amy you have hit the nail on the head. It is the same for me. It was the abuse that was so hard to recover from. And I feel like you, he abused me because he is gay and I’m a woman. My gex also had an abusive personality. Regardless of what he is or who he is with he is going to be abusive. I came across an arrest of his from last year for battery. So he still dates and beats women. I think even if he was in a relationship with a man he would be abusive. I think because he hates himself and cannot accept who he is. He will never openly be with a man. I don’t think he will ever come out.


    1. I agree Corena, they fail to give the wives side of this and the pain she must suffer because of her husbands same sex attraction. Many articles fail to mention the wives even in the stories of men coming out. All they say is his wife supports him.


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