What is it like for men who find out their wives are lesbians? I went online to do research on this subject and could not find anything. I did find a women who was married to man, 25 years in a heterosexual marriage, with children who discovered her love for a woman. This woman described the romantic and sexual love as something she could never feel with a man. And she was asking how could this be after 25 years of marriage and two children, it was if she was unaware of her same sex feelings until she met this particular woman.
Then I came a across a story about a woman who lived as a lesbian for many years and never thought she would marry a man and have children. She married a man and had 4 children. There are stories online about mixed orientation couples and how they make their marriages work. And there are stories like mine from women who find out they are married to a closeted gay man. Still no stories from men who find out the woman they married is a lesbian and has been cheating on him, or she has found the love of her life a woman she cannot live without.
Men are taught they have to be strong and to suppress their emotions. Many men are not as verbal as women and may find it hard to articulate their feelings. They go through the same emotions we women do. They experienced rejection, and feelings of inadequacy perhaps they are too embarrassed to talk about it openly. They too wonder what was real in the marriage? Did his wife ever love him? They grieve the loss of the marriage and the person they thought they knew.
The suicide rate is higher for men than it is for a women. Depression is also higher in men. Is it because we as a society have taught men it is not manly to speak about their emotions. Men are less likely to go for help. I think men have a lot of Pride and they don’t want to be perceived as weak. So where do men go when they need help? Many of them suffer in silence.