My Friend Bonnie Kaye by Debra Sutton

Bonnie Kaye is one of the most respected women in her field. She is a pioneer and leading expert in gay/straight marriages. Bonnie has helped thousands of men and women. And has been a voice for straight wives, when no one would dare speak on the subject. She is straight forward, pulls no punches, and does not sugar coat our situation. I appreciate her honesty. Bonnie is a straight wife who turned her tragedy into triumph by helping others. She has worked in this field for over three decades. 

I came to know Bonnie over four years ago when my own marriage to a gay man came to an end. I did not understand why my 22 year marriage was ending. I was left broken and confused with no answers. I went online to search for answers and came across Bonnie’s website. The first book I read was called Shattered Lives. I was in shock as this woman described my life. She absolutely got it. How could this woman describe my life in such detail, right down to the things my husband said to me. I wrote Bonnie, I did not know if I would hear back, as I thought she must be so busy. She wrote me back the next day and added me to her mailing list. And I began receiving her monthly news letters. One of my favorite news letters was called Living La Vida Limbo. 

Here is an excerpt from Living La Vida Limbo:

These are the men whom I call the “Limbo Men.” Their whole lives are lived in limbo. They are emotionally straight, but physically gay. They never feel totally comfortable in either world, but they are much more comfortable “passing” in the straight world where they are accepted as part of mainstream society.

I was feeling alone and isolated when I joined Bonnie’s Straight Wives club over three years ago. This is where I really began to heal. My voice had been silenced for so long in my marriage. Bonnie created this space for women to voice, to vent, and heal. I am just one in thousands Bonnie has helped. She is a guiding light, a beacon for those of us finding our way out of a dark place. I am proud to call her my friend. 

If you would like to receive Bonnie Kaye’s free news letter write to:


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