It’s Time to Start Loving Yourself by Debra Sutton 

Self Love

Self love is not selfish it’s necessary. Learning to love and care for yourself is the most important life changing thing you will ever do. It has the power to transform your life. When you love yourself people will treat you differently. How can we expect others to love us when we don’t love ourselves. We show others how to treat us by what we allow. If we allow bad and toxic behavior from people and there are never any consequences for their actions, this behavior will continue because they know you aren’t going anywhere. What you allow will continue. Surround yourself with positive people. Do not hesitate to remove toxic people from your life.


Forgive Yourself 

Show yourself unconditional love accepting everything about yourself the good and the bad. If there is something you need to change work on changing this without beating up on yourself. Beating up on yourself is self-defeating and does not help bring about positive change. Forgive yourself for any past mistakes. Leave the past in the past where it belongs. If you are constantly rehashing the past you cannot move forward.

An Attitude of Gratitude 

Live each day for today not looking back and not looking too far into the future. If you are looking back and looking ahead you miss what today has to offer. Instead of concentrating on what you don’t have, learn gratitude being grateful for all you do have. You will be surprised at all you have to be grateful for. Practice an attitude of gratitude.


Be patient with yourself change does not happen overnight. It took years to get you were you are right now. Practice showing yourself loving kindness. Show yourself the patient and loving kindness you would show an infant who is just learning how to walk. After all you would not treat a baby learning how to walk with impatience or anger.

Self Acceptance

We all want to be accepted by others but accepting yourself is of way more importance. When we are accepting of ourselves it will naturally follow others will accept you. Your opinion of yourself should be held in the highest regard then if someone doesn’t accept you it is not so devastating. You have to realize that not everyone is going to like you, and that’s ok.

The Power of Positive Thinking  

Practice positive affirmations. For example tell yourself you are beautiful, you are worthy. I know this can be difficult when you have been stuck with a negative mindset for so long. By doing this you are getting rid of those negative thought patterns. Negative thought patterns can have a devastating impact on your life. Negative thoughts can make you a prisoner of your own mind, which will only lead to criticism and self-beating, regret, and guilt. You can change these negative thought patterns by becoming aware of them and making a conscious choice to change this line of thinking. I believe negative thoughts can become habitual. Bad habits are meant to be broken. In a couple of months you can learn a new habit of positivity.

Try Something New

Try meditation, writing, keep a journal, whatever you love doing. Reconnect with your spirituality. You could try for example a daily devotional. Take a walk connect with nature. Learn a new dance or exercise. Let go of mind numbing which can be shopping, eating, drinking. Anything that avoids discomfort.

Remember Valentine’s Day isn’t just for lovers. We can celebrate our family and friends. We can celebrate showing a new love and appreciation for ourselves. Being single is not the worst thing in life in fact I am celebrating being single. I have more to celebrate now than I ever did being married. It’s far worse to end up with someone who makes you feel like you are alone.


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