Time is a Precious Gift by Debra Sutton

Our time is the most precious gift we can give a person. The years I spent with a closeted gay man were stolen years, not only stolen but wasted. I can never get those years back. How these men can do this to another human being is beyond me, all so they can hide their secret. These men are not in denial they know what they are doing as they lead their secret life. They know they are meeting men for sex while their wife sits innocently at home taking care of the family. Keeping their secret at all cost, it doesn’t matter to them who they hurt, as long as their secret is kept. It doesn’t matter to them that they expose their wives to HIV and all kinds of diseases. After reading a post by another straight wife I can no longer call it denial these gay men know they are gay. They are not in denial. They are gay in secret.

If you are a gay man in a relationship with  a closeted gay married man they won’t treat you any better. They will keep you on the side wanting you to keep their secret. Most likely they will never come out to their wives. You will be hidden. You will not be part of holidays, family get togethers, or any other family functions. You will be kept a secret. They will not want to be seen with you. They will use you for sex, but that’s all.

They have nothing to offer anyone. All they do is take from people and give nothing in return.
Don’t waste anymore of your time with people like this. They are toxic. Their problems are endless. They will steal your joy, steal your life, and most of all they will waste your time. Time is a precious gift. Spend it on those who love and appreciate you.

My gay ex-husband hated the holidays and we spent most of them alone. He wanted me around during the holiday misery. He wanted me to be just as miserable as he was. I was set free four years ago, and since then my holidays have been filled with real love and happiness by those that truly love me. I have nothing but regret for the years I spent with him. All I can do is move forward and make the best of the time I have left.

Take back your power, take your life back, and don’t waste another minute in a toxic relationship. Don’t spend any more time in holiday misery with a closeted gay husband. We are meant to live  happy lives and share in that happiness with others. Give yourself the best gift of all this holiday season the gift of a happy life.

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas. If this is your first holiday alone I know it can be difficult. Do something different, make your own traditions. Buy yourself something new. Try not to spend it alone. Please know you are not alone there are others out there like you. Reach out to friends and family. Sending love and hope this holiday season.

Big Hugs

Debra Sutton


2 thoughts on “Time is a Precious Gift by Debra Sutton

  1. ‘They are not in denial. They are gay in secret.’ Exactly. When they have sexual contact with men before they even meet you, what do they think they are? Straight? As you say, Debra, they’re not even in denial. It’s deliberate cheating and using. My teenage children haven’t had much to do with their father lately, but my son went for lunch with him yesterday and sure as night follows day, there was a photo of the hearth in the pub they went to for lunch on FB. I am not facebook-friends with my ex, but I happened to go on FB (I don’t much) just to send my son a message so I saw the photo. He used my son so that he could post the photo and get it ‘liked’ by people – as though he is still a ‘family man’ with a good relationship with his son. Good relationship, my arse. He has not only scarred us all deeply; this will probably affect my children’s children, as it has been so devastating. How shameful to use a lunch with our precious son – who has been crushed by this – for his own ends of how he appears to others. Super-pathetic.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s all about appearances Becky. So sad he would use your son. It doesn’t surprise me at all. I am so sorry for all that you and your children have been through. They have no concept of others.


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