My divorce was final last year, and looking back I am amazed at the time I spent wishing for and dreading that day. The thought of leaving my husband scared me, but when I was finally able to afford an apartment of my own I left. Best decision I ever made.
I just wish I’d done it a lot sooner.
I should have filed for divorce the day my husband told me that he didn’t want to be, “the kind of man who can’t control his wife, so he has to kill her.”
Or, before that, when he insisted I post sexually explicit personal ads, looking for men for a threesome.
Or, before that, when he told me to flirt with other men so he could watch.
Or, before that, when he had a prescription for Viagra that he always bought in cash so he could avoid our health insurance coverage, when we weren’t really having much sex at all. He went through a lot of pills, without using them with me.
Or, before that, when he told me that “all men” lose interest in their wives as soon as they married, and that “most women” lose interest in sex as soon as they are married.
Or, before that, when we had gay porn come to the house in the mail, addressed to my husband, and he told me that it was a mailing error.
Or, before that, when I contracted an STD while pregnant and he told me that he couldn’t possibly have given it to me; it must have come from my OB/GYN’s office.
Or, before that, when I stopped taking birth control pills because I realized I would often take two full months’ worth of pills in between sex acts.
Or, before that, when he spent hours on our honeymoon, smoking weed alone with the resort’s gardener.
I waited far too long, hoping that what I was seeing would start making sense and he would love me like a man loves a woman. I’m just glad that eventually I wised up and left him.
If you think your husband is gay, think on this: Straight men want sex with their wives. If your husband doesn’t want sex with you, he’s getting it somewhere else. You know more than you realize, and staying only buys him time at the cost of days and years of your own life.
By Georgia Lynn Pine