It was at the end of my 22 year marriage that my husband, who I did not know was gay at the time asked me this question. Can gays live a monogamous life? I thought his question was odd at the time, but I still answered him. I told him that I rarely see monogamy in gay men. I talked about the singer George Michael getting caught twice in public rest rooms. George Michael did these things while in a steady relationship with a live in boyfriend. I saw him in an interview with Oprah, his boyfriend was in the audience. Oprah asked him why he would behave like this when he had a boyfriend at home. He answered that his boyfriend understood when the mood strikes him. I guess they had an understanding. So why did my husband ask me if gays can live a monogamous life. I believe he met a man that he wanted to be with and he wanted my opinion on monogamy. I think he wanted monogamy in his new relationship.
I did some research and found that while the gay community would like you to think that gay couples have the same morals and values as straight married couples this is just not the case. The CDC shows that men who have sex with men are still at the highest risk for HIV. Gay men go through hundreds perhaps even thousands of sexual relationships in their life time. The average relationship for a gay man last from one to three years. I believe that a gay man coming out of the closet in his fifties is in for a lot of disappointment.
Monogamy must mean something different to gay men. They usually have arrangements while in live in situations that allows for sex outside the relationship. When a closeted gay husband comes out I think he has a lot of fear about what he is going into. My gay ex husband tried to keep me hanging on for six months after our divorce just in case his new life did not work out. Once I got out I was not willing to go back. Women have asked is it possible that their gay husband did not act on his gay desires. I don’t believe that is possible. In my 22 year marriage I remained faithful. I know that he did not. I really don’t know what I was faithful to. Perhaps I was faithful to myself.